Dutch hash on a Sunday morning

I’m off to get my fix of quality Dutch hash. The Dutch Wooden Shoe Cafe is, to my knowledge, the best dealer of this substance, and my stomach is set on a heaping plate of smoked salmon hash-n-eggs with a side of sourdough toast on the side.

As I type this, I notice the redundancy of specifying a side of toast on the side. On the other hand, one could order a side of toast and quite easily place it on top, underneath, in front, behind, or in any other location. The positioning of the side of toast is really entirely up to the customer. So it’s not actually redundant at all.

Mmmm. Hash.

Eventually, I promise to blog about something non-food-related.

The world’s foremost authority

Congratulate me. According to Google, I am now the world’s foremost authority on the McDonald’s “Hockey Hero Sandwich“.

For those who haven’t read the original post that brought me this notoriety, this burger is a cow’s nightmare. There’s about as much processed cheese and cow matter as one can fit between two halves of a bun, and I suspect that the lettuce shreds and tomato are just a formality to keep up appearances. As for the bun, it’s a nuisance too, as it detracts from the purity of the meat-and-cheese experience. Admittedly, it does perform the valuable function of keeping your hands free of dripping grease.

Although I’ve never tried one, I can’t dispute Google’s decision in the matter. This is a heavy responsibility (and a heavy burger) and I will carry the burden with pride. So go ahead, ask me anything at all about the Hockey Hero Sandwich.

Friday misguided search requests

Once again we’ve clawed our way through the weekly gauntlet to throw ourselves on the mercy of Friday. Ah, Friday: the last yards in the sprint to Saturday; the final shove in the weekly sumo match of life; the last heave before the stomach is empty; and the penultimate moments of bondage before weekend’s emancipation. Ah… Friday. Yup. Friday, Friday, Friday. Well, I guess I’m finished with that idea.

Last night I assembled some of February’s more interesting search requests in the hope that I could help lubricate your passage into the weekend with a little levity. And so, without any further ado, the search requests:

if a hamster ate vegetable oil would it die
Yep. But it would fry up real good after that. (Try using olive oil for a bit of flavour.)

How do penguins from the ocean disguise themselves
They usually disguise themselves as urban penguins. In fact, ocean penguins are infiltrating every major North American city. If you notice any penguin-like behaviour in your neighbours, report it to the authorities immediately.

pet stores that have penguins for sale
Illegal ones. And they disguise them as hamsters.

how do penguins sleep
I often wonder that myself. How do they sleep at night? How do they live with the guilt?

lego smoking pot
If your LEGO is smoking pot, just sit them down and talk to them about the dangers. Marijuana’s bad, m’kay?

what dose the inside of a Goldfish look like if you cut in half
Well, to start, it looks half as big as before you cut it in half. And less… er… alive. Kids, don’t try cutting your goldfish in half — they’re really hard to put back together.

t’pol photo very naked real
This is obviously a sophisticated Googler. Not only do they want a very naked photo, but they also want to make sure it’s real. It’s probably the same person who keeps searching for Ellen Feiss. Of course, by mentioning these on my site, they’ll probably be back again. Doh.

Well, there you go. I hope your weekend is more fun than a barrel of T’Pol photos. Live long and prosper.