life – Page 109 – Cubey Terra

March 10, 2003

Fifteen metres

Picture this. At the border between Quebec and Maine, there’s a gas station located only 15 metres on the US side of the border. The gas station has a driveway opening on the Canadian side. The nearest border-crossing is some distance away by car. Townsfolk routinely cross the 15 metres into Maine to fill their tanks.

One day, a forestry worker, Michel Jalbert, crosses to buy gas and is stopped by border guards. Because he’s on his way to a hunting trip, he happens to have his shotgun with him in the truck. He’s arrested and spends 35 days in a US jail. Today he pleaded guilty and his lawyer believes that Michel will never be allowed to enter the US again.

Well this should set an example to all those terrorists who like to fill up their tank on the border.

Commentary by Rex Murphy

Article on Canada.com

Article on CTV.ca

March 10, 2003

Naked in my cubicle

I’m sitting in my cubicle feeling very exposed. Vulnerable. Naked, even. Today I forgot my cell phone at home.

All I can think about is what it’s doing right now. Is it ringing, and no one is there to answer it? I bet it’s ringing, all alone on my desk at home. So lonely.

It’s times like this when I think about all the good times we’ve had together, me and my phone. Like the day I bought it, when it rang for the first time, I flipped it open and said, “Kirk here.” A life-long dream had been fullfilled.

And there was the time I was camping on Saltspring Island and sitting on the beach, I checked my e-mail. I would never again be without the Internet.

And then there was the time I forgot to turn off the ringer during a movie, and it rang. It wouldn’t stop ringing. It just kept going and going and none of the buttons would make it shut up! It just kept ringing and ringing and ringing. Damn that phone! When I get home, I’m taking a hammer to it.

Hmph.

March 9, 2003

Green Goblin’s secret revealed!

I think I’ve uncovered the secret inspiration for Green Goblin’s mask in Spiderman. This is from Godzilla Versus Megalon (1976):

It’s an uncanny resemblance, isn’t it?

March 9, 2003

Advice needed

I’m practicing to be a curmudgeon. Which is more effective, harrumph or pshaw?

I considered bah!, but people might think I have a sheep fetish.

March 7, 2003

I am the cubicle-meister

Google has done it again. Not even a month after I became the world’s leading authority on the “Hockey Hero Sandwich”, Google has identified me as the world’s leading authority on the cubicle as well.

This explains why each day I get a dozen or so visits from people searching for “cubicle”. It doesn’t, however, explain why people are searching for “cubicle” in the first place. Do they want to know what it is? Do they want to buy one? Or do they get excited by pictures of cubicles? I’ve heard of that, you know. Sick, sick, sick people.

While I can’t offer any titillating photos of cubicles, I’d be glad to share my wealth of cubicle-related knowledge by answering questions. So if you arrived here looking for “cubicle”, ask away! I’ll do my best to provide an answer that will be universally recognized as a response to a question.