Virtual vehicles for the metaverse
I laughed my ass off when I saw this one. No kidding… it fell off and hit the floor with a meaty thunk. My dad snapped this photo in a picnic area on Galiano Island, BC. I just had to post it.
Naturally, if you’re eating children, you want to keep the dogs tied up or they’ll grab a leg or two right off the table.
It’s Wednesday, folks, which means that Second Life is down for the latest update. SL addicts the world over, shaking from withdrawal symptoms, turn to other activies, like sparring in the forums, or trading silly links in IRC. You might ask, What does Cubey do during SL downtimes? Well… I’ll tell you…
I start my day having completely forgotten about the planned downtime. I go to my kitchen, brew a pot of coffee, and plan my morning’s work in my head. The beans are hand-roasted by a guy in Steveston BC, and are quite delicious. Much better than that Terrabucks swill. Steaming mug in hand, I sit down at my computer and log in.
After my seventh or eighth login attempt, the reality sinks in. SL is down. And that’s when I start knocking my head against the monitor. Not hard — just enough to make a good “bong” sound that kind of resonates a little. I think the precise note this produces is G sharp.
So after a good fifteen minutes of G sharp, there’s considerable blood on the monitor, since that’s the nature of head wounds. Though gory, it gives me a medium in which I can work. I’ll spend a while finger-painting red airplanes on red runways, with little red workers in red jumpsuits driving red fuel trucks. This blessed reprieve from withdrawal is shortlived, however, since the blood clots and dries within minutes.
It’s important, when deprived of Second Life, to distract yourself. Clicking Belaya’s horrifying links in IRC works for only a short time, and pushing coins up your nose yields few positive results beyond a surprising ability to pick up radio broadcasts.
The best distraction that I’ve found is to strip naked, sit on the window sill, and scream the theme song to “Farscape” There are lots of good screamy bits in that one.
As an aside, if your neighbours object to the presence of a bloodied, screaming, naked person, you may wish to try the backup distraction, which requires a bottle of Vietnamese vodka, a toilet plunger, and two live ducks. Contact me for details.
By the time the police are done with me, it’s around noon and Second Life is back online.
What do you do during SL downtimes?
VANCOUVER — Tragedy struck in the early hours of the morning, when an unexpected death occurred in the home of virtual vehicle designer, Cubey Terra. Shortly after 8:00am, Terra’s coffee maker expired, depriving the entire household — namely Cubey Terra — of coffee.
“It was horrible,” said Terra, “When I found it, it was just cold to the touch. Quite dead.”
No cause for the coffee maker’s sudden death is certain, but the investigator on the scene suspects a failure in the heating element. Foul play has not yet been ruled out.
The coffee maker had been in continuous daily use since only August 28, 2005 — less than a single year. A memorial service will be held for the coffee maker later today, after a quick trip to Canadian Tire for a new one.
A sharp-eye reader will notice the sudden appearance at the side of this blog of several new archive links, which date back to 2002. That’s because today I took my CubeyTerra.com blog and mashed it together with my larger, but defunct blog, “Cubicle Dweller”.
Cubicle Dweller was a blog that I wrote from the perspective of an office cubicle. While it’s not necessarily about office life — in fact, it’s most often about anything but the office — it reflects how I viewed the world as a drone writing user manuals for a software company. I wrote Cubicle Dweller obsessively for years, but eventually lost steam when Second Life took hold of my imagination… and all of my free time.
If you’re in a reading mood, please feel free to browse the archived Cubicle Dweller entries. Links are at the side. Or, if you prefer hard copy, please do order Cubicle Dweller in softcover book form: “Raised by Penguins“.
Arguably, skydiving is the single most popular sport in Second Life. If, that is, you consider falling from a ridiculously high altitude a sport. That’s why more and more business owners are looking to install their own skydiving facility as an added attraction.
It’s a great idea — if you own a club or a shop, for example, you can draw a bigger crowd by giving them something fun and exciting to do. Or you can open a skydiving school, and teach the novice parachutist how to fall from a plane and not become a pancake. Or maybe you want to keep a private skydiving setup on the roof of your home, just for you and your friends.
Whatever the reason, here’s how you can get started. First, pick up the basic equipment from my shop:
Next, contact me in IM for a skydiving gear vendor. The vendor not only includes all of my regular gear, like the sport chutes, skyboards, helmets, etc, but also has the free items, like the E-Chute and Jump Tracker.
I can set up the vendor anywhere on your property and make it movable, so that you can reposition it if you have to. When you IM me, be sure to mention the location, including the X, Y, and Z position. Example: Abbotts(40,160,50). Alternatively, you can drop a landmark on my profile, and then let me know by IM.
I hope to see more of these facilities springing up all over SL. Happy landings!