I’m convinced that there’s a law of nature that causes several deadlines to coincide whenever the weather becomes sunny and warm. If you ever see me in the daylight, wear sunglasses to protect yourself from the glare off my sickly, pallid skin.
AAAAAAaaaaaaaa!!!!!
Over at Geese Aplenty, Greg has announced that he’s going skydiving. I’m so very jealous. I went skydiving only once about ten years ago, but haven’t had the chance to try it again.
If there’s anyone in the Vancouver area who would like to go skydiving, drop me a line at eol@endofline.ca. It’s a little pricey, but if you survive, you’ll really enjoy it. I mean, you’ll enjoy it in any case, but you’ll probably enjoy it longer if you… um…
I’m not really selling this idea very well, am I?
The Return of Doctor Destructo
After a minor technical glitch in which everything was deleted, Dr. Destructo and the Blog of AAAAA!!! is back. There’s not much to see yet, but I’m sure Destructo will add new material soon.
An ickle contest
Over at Ickle Fiction, where Treefen is kicking the blogday festivities up a notch (BAM!), a contest is underway. The goal is to write a complete scene in 300 words or less that’s “loss-of-bladder-control funny”. Also, the scene has to include the words “ickle”, “solipsistic”, and “verisimilitude”.
Well, I gave it a shot, but I’m not happy with it. It’s diuretic qualities are pretty feeble actually. Here it is.
As Dave stood there in his bathrobe and woolly socks, it occurred to him that he was inappropriately dressed for the occasion. It also occurred to him, as the doorbell rang for the second time, that maybe he should have remembered that his mother-in-law, Greta, was stopping by for brunch today. And after a moment of quiet reflection, he then wondered if he was a little too smelly to answer the door.
This, he decided, was a problem.
He stood.
As he stood, an ickle caterpillar inched its way across the window.
A bead of sweat grew on his forehead.
He didn’t as much mind being seen in his robe as being seen in Greta’s robe. His wife had borrowed it from her not long ago, and Dave, having misplaced his own robe, slipped it on for just a moment.
Well, he thought. This, surely, is proof of the non-validity of a solipsistic worldview.
The hall clock ticked.
In the distance, a dog barked.
It occurred to him that he’d seen situations like this on the TV, but had doubted their verisimilitude. He had no doubt now.
A floorboard creaked under his foot.
The cat meowed by his leg.
The bead of sweat rolled down his forehead and lodged itself in his left eye, making him blink lop-sidedly for a moment.
Now, he considered, would be a good time to do something.
As the doorbell rang again, he threw himself into action. And in moments, he was prepared.
“Come in… it’s open!” he called, with as much jaunty laissé-faire as he could muster.
“Good morning, Dave,” Greta said as she entered. “It’s so nice to see— OH!”
A startled silence fell, in which Dave could hear the caterpillar munching on a leaf.
“Good God, Dave. What are you doing to that cat? Is it wearing my bathrobe?”
Cloud gazing
It’s a gloriously sunny day here in Vancouver. As I look out my window, the only cloud in the sky is a line of puffy cumulus over the ridge of the North Shore mountains. I look at that and think to myself, That’s a fine example of adiabatic cooling.
I’m so glad I took that introductory course on meteorology.