Faux-pas

Agent Q and I wandered into the Fairview Pub for a couple of final pints before she disappeared back to Toronto. It was, of course, the night of The Big Game — game seven of Vancouver versus St.Louis — so even an hour before the game, the pub was filling up fast.

The Fairview, and I hope its patrons will forgive me for saying this, is a bit of a dive. Crappy music blares from the overhead speakers, and they keep the lights “moody” to hide the filth. But I suppose that, compared to my usual haunt, it’s fine. Unlike the Jolly Alderman, the Fairview actually has windows.

Because Q and I had arrived so early, we had front-row seats for the big screen, and the jersey-wearing flag-wavers in the back looked at us enviously. When I overheard a couple of guys behind me trying to find enough seats for a few of their friends, I turned and said, “Hey, we’re leaving in about twenty minutes. You can have our table if you want.”

He stared at me in disbelief. “You’re NOT STAYING FOR THE GAME??”

The music stopped. All heads turned. And in the silence, I think I heard a cricket chirping.

“We’re… uh…,” I sweated, “watching it… somewhere else.”

The music started again. All heads turned back to the big screen.

It was a very close call, but Q and I escaped without injury.

Operation ‘Free Big Mac’

Someone on the ground floor phoned me to complain about the noise my stomach was making. This is indeed a serious situation, and as I mentioned earlier, I cleverly left my wallet and security card at home today.

I need not resort to squishy things under rocks, however. In my desk, under the spare packets of ketchup, I found a coupon for a FREE McDonald’s Big Mac.

Will they honour the coupon? Will I get my Big Mac both free and gratis? Will I walk away from Satan’s personal grease-factory with a full stomach or will I need to go hunting in the alley for some extremely fresh squab?

Cry havoc! and let slip the hamburgers of lunch!

Doh!

I just discovered that I forgot my wallet today. This means that:

  1. I don’t have a security card, and
  2. I have no money for lunch.

Maybe I’ll go down to the waterfront and eat squishy things under rocks.

Tuesday miscellany: nothing to report

My weekly routine on the cube farm got off to a faltering start this week. I woke up after four hours of sleep with a headache — self-inflicted, with the help of Agent Q. My first thought was that I couldn’t possibly go to work.

“What?” you say. “You had to go to work on Easter Monday?”

Yup. At least that was the plan up until Monday morning. Although most companies give their employees a day off on Easter Monday, my employer chooses not to follow that tradition. So my only choice was to take the day off anyway.

After a day of R and R, I hopped in the Civic, hit Turbo Boost and roared off to work. On the way, I passed a massive crowd in front of the main library downtown. The sidewalk was infested with teens in too much makeup and hip-hugging jeans. All of them were hoping to make a splash at the Canadian Idol auditions. (Writer shakes head and sighs.)

Well, now that I’m at the office, I should get moving. I need to build a couple of igloos before lunch. And I hear the cafeteria has a special on seal blubber.

I converted my brother

I have just spread the good word and converted my brother to bloggerism. Just now, I finished putting together the template for his blog: Dr. Destructo and the Blog of AAAAA!!!.

Dr. Destructo (my brother) is an ER doctor and thought that a blog would be perfect place to rant about life in ER. I think he needs a little encouragement. Please do drop in and leave a comment.