Category: life

Topics concerning that thing known as ‘real life’ and not virtual worlds.

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Health regimen

I have decided to take the plunge. Starting yesterday, I began my strict health regimen:

  • Each day, I will walk at least five metres.
  • I will not visit McDonald’s unless it is before 8:00am or after 12:00 noon.
  • Beer is completely forbidden except on weekends, holidays, Friday lunches, and any day that has a vowel in its name.
  • After work every day, I will spend at least half an hour on the stationary bike, of which at least some of the time will be spent pedalling.
  • I will eat at least one vegetable each week.
  • I will no longer eat orange foods. Basically nothing orange is natural. Except oranges, of course.
  • I will spend less time in front of the computer.
  • I will give up cigarettes. Thankfully I’ve never smoked them, so that one’s easy.
  • I will use my feet whenever possible.
  • I will only drink beer from a keg, because lifting one of those is a real workout.
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Fred

There once was a penguin named Fred

Who drank quite a bit, it is said.

He spent every night

Drinking pissy Coors Lite

By morning he looked like the dead.

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Pete

There once was a penguin named Pete

Who never made use of his feet.

It did slow him down

When he went into town

‘Cause he shuffled around on his seat.

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I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled

I grow old … I grow old …

I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?

I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

—T.S. Eliot, “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”

Tranquility is becoming rare. When my days are packed with deadlines and outside pressures, the moments to myself become precious (Oh, my precioussss. It issss preciousss to me.).

Early today, I escaped the weekend routine and drove without any particular direction. I had my camera with me. I don’t claim (or want) to be an art photog. I like having a camera with me because taking photos is restful. It anchors me in the moment.



My first stop was Admirality Trail in the University Endowment Lands.



Like many of the trails through this vast park, the birch trees arch overhead as the trail winds around and through the many streams and gulleys.



The forest floor is carpeted with lush green moss, which is home to all kinds of creatures, leggy and otherwise.



The trail emerged next to the beach at Spanish Banks. It’s not uncommon to find inukshuk and cairns built by someone in a meditative mood. Just offshore, a harbour seal watched me with silent curiosity.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves

Combing the white hair of the waves blown back

When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea

By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown

Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

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Meeting? What meeting?

Cubicle Rule Number 9: Never forget about the quarterly company meeting.

I’d completely forgotten that the meeting was today. And to add to my bewilderment, I was presented with one of the company’s two quarterly “Value Awards”.

Having forgotten about the meeting, I naturally showed up in my XCF clothes (eXtremely Casual Friday): my old jeans, beat-up boots, and a raggy old corduroy shirt. As I shook the president’s hand on stage, I was very happy that I’d decided to shave this morning.

Oh, the award category was “Sense of Humour”. I hope they’re laughing with me. Hmm.