Virtual vehicles for the metaverse
Topics concerning that thing known as ‘real life’ and not virtual worlds.
This just in: this startling image shows a UFO touching down on the roof of an apartment tower in Vancouver’s West End.
One witness reports seeing dozens of purple hamsters emerge from a hatch before leaping over the edge of the building. The witness, who wore a “THE END IS NIGH” sandwich board sign and smoked a curious-looking glass pipe, asked to remain anonymous.
In a surprise development, researchers from the Joint Australian Centre for Astrophysical Research in Antarctica (JACARA) have discovered a rare purple penguin. Some speculate that it may have come in contact with the purple polar bear in Buenos Aires, Argentina, which may indicate a communicable disease.
Keep your eyes open for more purple animals. If your household pet shows signs of turning purple, or even a shade of violet, contact a veterinarian immediately.
It’s one of those mornings. It’s an “unclever” morning. On unclever mornings, I’m tragically short of cleverness. I still have trace amounts of cleverness lodged in the corner of my brain, but it’s buried under a layer of befuddlement. And it’s green.
I was clever enough to turn the key in the ignition this morning, but uncleverness asserted itself again. I was surprised to discover that shifting to “D” will not allow me to back out of my parking spot.
I blame TV. In car chase scenes, they just don’t spend enough time explaining the intricacies of the automatic transmission. I watch TV for hours on end, looking for help with this, but the TV people would rather do a bit about a purple polar bear in Argentina than tell me something useful. Like, “Move the lever to ‘R’ before backing up” or “Don’t put vinegar in your eye”.
Oh, sure, after I rinsed out my eye, I’d learned my lesson. But they could have warned me.
The elevator presents a problem on unclever days. Every day for over two years, I’ve gone to the sixth floor. There are two buttons in the lobby. I pushed the wrong one. You’d think that at my age, I would have figured out how to operate an elevator.
A cup of coffee should help. I’ll just pay a visit to the vending machine and dial up some Hawaiian blend. The pineapple lends a nice fruity touch that offsets the bitterness, but I tend to pick out the ham floaties. And I’ll be fine after I put a touch of vinegar in my eye—
No. I forgot. That’s not a good idea. Maybe something like sugar or salt would work better. That’s the spirit of unclever experimentation that often leads to new discoveries.
I arrived home today to this:
I guess it would help if I opened a window or two.
A couple of hours ago, I might have said, “Bibble!”
Now?
Now I say, “Wibble.” But not without a certain sense of irony, of course.
That is all.