Category: life

Topics concerning that thing known as ‘real life’ and not virtual worlds.

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Dude…

In a frenzy of fiscal foolishness, I put in an order for my new baby. Here she is: Dell Inspiron 1100. Isn’t she cute?

After it arrives, you’ll find me blogging at the beach or in some trendy café. The downside is that I have to live on Mr. Noodles for a while.

I have to admit, it’s going to be hard to let go of my current desktop. It’s been my trusty workhorse for two and a half years. I can’t believe that I can get sentimental over a box of circuits and buggy software, but hey… I’m a cubicle-dwelling geek. When I think of the computers that I’ve had over the years… [insert wobbly flash-back transition]

The first computer that I bought was a 386DX. It had 40 MHz of pure power. Okay, it’s not impressive now, but it was a perfectly adequate computer back then. Painted the case black and even bought a (oooh) CD-ROM drive. Very leading-edge. Sold it to a friend.

Then I bought a 486DX 66. Where did that one go? Oh yes, my brother bought that one.

Then there was the P133. It died a gruesome death at my hands, unfortunately. It was an accident, I swear.

Then there was my Pentium notebook. That one’s still limping along.

Then my P3 desktop.

[flashback ends]

Okay, that’s enough of that. I can only hope that my P3 has a good life with its new owners. *Sniff*.

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Monday story pitch

Gus McFlatulence-Davis is a rich kid who thinks he has everything. When he isn’t buying and selling drugs to small, furry mammals, he’s playing the zither as the token human in an all-platypus polka band, named “Gus and the All-platypus Polka Band”.

Fate hits him with a cold crème-brulée-in-the-crotch when he falls into a trans-dimensional rift inside a Starbucks men’s room. He wakes up in the Trellian Valley–formerly home of Narwin, the Golden Rhinosceros. As you’ll remember from the prequel, Narwin was crushed by the Standing Stones of Aelia. The spirit of Pip, the exploded pelican, has returned to send Gus on a journey to find the Lever of Archimedes, with which Pip plans to lift the standing stones off Narwin.

After a wacky adventure involving a shipment of illegal anchovies stored in a balloon in Gus’ nether regions, Gus returns with the Lever of Archimedes, but in a tragic miscalculation, they accidentally move the world out of its orbit and they all die a fiery death as they crash into the sun. In a final twist of irony, it turns out that Narwin had faked his own death and has been working at the Starbucks, safely on the other side of the dimensional rift the entire time!

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I smell school

There’s something in the air today. It’s a hint at that change in the weather that signals the end of the hot, dry weather, and the beginning of the warm, but wet September (as JenB points out, this is only normal in Vancouver). Yes, it’s a little early to feel it fully, but there’s just enough of it floating on the air that it reminds me of fall. Even now, at the beginning of August, I see leaves that show signs that they’re about to turn.

Those leaves. You can’t trust them. Eventually, they’ll turn on you.

It’s the scent on the air, the leaves, and maybe the angle of the sun that reminds me of preparing to go back to school. I really miss that. The excitement of signing up for a full load of new courses, finding the textbooks at the bookstore, and panicking because there’s not enough money to cover tuition and food until the student loan comes in.

It reminds me of walks across campus to find the building and my classroom for the first time. And wondering if I should eat at the cafeteria or wait until I get home in the afternoon. And preparing for the auditions for classes and plays. And buying piles of instant noodles to live on. And choosing a new travel coffee mug. And waiting in endless lineups at the registrar’s office when they inevitably screw up my entire registration.

I miss it all. Maybe I’ll abandon my career and go back to school. That would be fun, in a sick, overworked, undernourished way. I’m really tempted to do just that when the weather hints at turning into September like it is today.

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Peeing into the future

Japan’s largest maker of toilets, Toto, combines the porcelain throne with computer intelligence for an “every-four-hour fiesta for your naughty bits”:

So there I am, sitting on this sleek-looking loo, idly punching the buttons on this little panel next to the toilet, and all of a sudden my bum is right smack in the middle of the perfect storm. *

If computer-controlled toilets become popular here in North America, will we have to worry when our toilet crashes? Will we have to back it up daily?

Link: Wired.com: Luxury Loo: The Seat Also Rises