Category: life

I made a trip to the office supply room recently. I needed Post-It™ notes — or “yellow sticky notes” if you want to be generic.

Is it really necessary to have 5 billion different formats of sticky note? They really do come in all sizes and shapes. You could probably write a novel on notepad-size self-adhesive paper.

I can understand that you don’t need the big ones all the time. I sometimes use the smallish ones for little notes while I’m editing, and I cut them into strips if I need bookmarks. But there are also stickies that have “Sign Here ->” pre-printed on them. Wouldn’t it make more sense to get blank ones and just write “Sign Here” on them? Why would anyone need a whole pad of “Sign Here” stickies? Why can’t you just design your documents so that it’s clear where you should sign?

I’ve seen such waste. I’ve seen entire pads of large stickies used for nothing but bookmarks — on every second page of a 500 page document! Shocking, but true!

Something must be done about this. Somewhere, entire forests of little yellow trees are being clearcut.

Isn’t “deracinate” an excellent word? It kind of slips off the tongue to curl delicately in the air and linger… like a wisp of smoke from an extinguished candle.

It’s a shame that if you use it in casual conversation, you’d be considered a pompous twit.

I’ve been sick this week, and daytime tv is driving me slowly, but surely, insane. As I explained to someone earlier today, this thing is lingering like a… lingering thing. And then it occurred to me to wonder about other lingering similes. Writers so often struggle to compare one lingering thing to another. Besides the usual selection (like a fog, like a cold, like a hangover), some lingerings stand out, like a vegetarian at an NRA banquet.

Here they are, some random “lingering like a…” similes pulled from the web:

lingering — like a train passing dysfunction junction

lingering like a fog on the lowlands

lingering like a just extinguished candle

Lingering like a ghost that / Was determined to finish that song.

lingering like a toxic cloud

lingering like a series of smoke signals

lingering like a train’s lonely whistle on the night wind

lingering like a river smooth / Along its grassy borders

lingering like a dreary January afternoon with no sun in a dimly lit room

lingering like a shallow wind

lingering like a well loved guest

lingering like a fart in a hot car

lingering, like a woman?s pique when she is disappointed in her lover

lingering like a great big elephant that has been sleeping next to the Prime Minister

lingering like a benevolent ghost dog protector

lingering, like a village maiden

lingering like a salsa stain on a white shirt

lingering like a running canker in the nation?s psyche

lingering like a fine tasting cigarette that he doesn’t want to burnout

lingering like a ticking time bomb in the archives

lingering like a buoy in the lake

lingering like a retarded parakeet in an unlatched cage

lingering like a lizards dead kiss

Lingering like a stolen god / That threatens to destroy our sin

lingering like a balloon nearly out of helium

lingering like a moth in a flood light

lingering like a small river through an ancient town

lingering like a palm print on the city’s face

lingering like a raincoat across my teeth

lingering like a whale at a buffet

Some similes are best forgotten, lest they linger like an anteater at an all-you-can eat ant bar. Like a copy of Police Academy 5 on the video store shelves. Like a grungy teen at a hemp rally. Like a one legged ring-tailed lemur at that place where they give free stuff to one-legged ring-tailed lemurs. Like a flock of ravenous vultures circling over the carcass of this blog entry.

OK, I’m done. Your turn.