It’s Wednesday, folks, which means that Second Life is down for the latest update. SL addicts the world over, shaking from withdrawal symptoms, turn to other activies, like sparring in the forums, or trading silly links in IRC. You might ask, What does Cubey do during SL downtimes? Well… I’ll tell you…
I start my day having completely forgotten about the planned downtime. I go to my kitchen, brew a pot of coffee, and plan my morning’s work in my head. The beans are hand-roasted by a guy in Steveston BC, and are quite delicious. Much better than that Terrabucks swill. Steaming mug in hand, I sit down at my computer and log in.
After my seventh or eighth login attempt, the reality sinks in. SL is down. And that’s when I start knocking my head against the monitor. Not hard — just enough to make a good “bong” sound that kind of resonates a little. I think the precise note this produces is G sharp.
So after a good fifteen minutes of G sharp, there’s considerable blood on the monitor, since that’s the nature of head wounds. Though gory, it gives me a medium in which I can work. I’ll spend a while finger-painting red airplanes on red runways, with little red workers in red jumpsuits driving red fuel trucks. This blessed reprieve from withdrawal is shortlived, however, since the blood clots and dries within minutes.
It’s important, when deprived of Second Life, to distract yourself. Clicking Belaya’s horrifying links in IRC works for only a short time, and pushing coins up your nose yields few positive results beyond a surprising ability to pick up radio broadcasts.
The best distraction that I’ve found is to strip naked, sit on the window sill, and scream the theme song to “Farscape” There are lots of good screamy bits in that one.
As an aside, if your neighbours object to the presence of a bloodied, screaming, naked person, you may wish to try the backup distraction, which requires a bottle of Vietnamese vodka, a toilet plunger, and two live ducks. Contact me for details.
By the time the police are done with me, it’s around noon and Second Life is back online.
What do you do during SL downtimes?