WARNING: MAY CONTAIN MOVIE SPOILERS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Things I noticed about Troy:
- Achilles really likes to point his sword sideways at people and look down the blade. Someone should have mentioned to him that you don’t need to aim a sword like a gun.
- In one scene, the Trojans appear to roll gigantic balls of yarn down onto the Greek encampment. They should have followed that by unleashing the gigantic kittens. “Cry Havoc! and let slip the kittens of war!”
- They keep starting massively violent battles, only to stop them suddenly, saying something like, “Well there’s been enough killing for one day.”
- Is it really necessary for the men to have shorter skirts than the women?
- Maybe if they wore thigh armour instead of shin armour they’d have fewer leg wounds.
- Achilles, of course, gets an arrow in his heel. A nearby audience member whispered to another, “His Achilles tendon!” No, that’s not why it’s ironic, you doofus.
- Achilles manages to woo the lovely Perseus into his bed, despite her being the cousin of Hector. Fortunately, Achilles has a Trojan on him.
In the words of the immortal Homer: “Doh!”