Are they “Sandwich Artists” as they claim, or mere sandwich hacks? As you may know, I take sandwiches seriously. After all, in the cubicle, there is no food item more perfect than the sandwich.
Soup? The slurping will irritate your neighbors and soup may splash onto your keyboard. Pizza? The grease will get all over everything, and the aroma will drive co-workers into a feeding frenzy that you probably won’t survive. Sushi? Well, I’ll go for sushi too, but the price is a cubicle that smells like fish for the entire afternoon.
With this in mind, you’ll understand how off-putting it is for me to go to Subway and be given a sub-standard sandwich (pun intended… oh, I’m just so, so witty. Tee hee hee. Ahem.). I ordered the new teriyaki chicken sub instead of my usual roast beef.
Onto a bed of cheesy slices went the limp, strips of formed chicken — a close inspection revealed air bubbles in the meat. I think the idustrial process they use to create this chicken-like substance also creates those big colourful bathroom sponges. Onto the chicken-like substance went piles of wilted lettuce and a couple of token vegetables, followed by the crowning glory: the sweet onion sauce. The “artist” enthusiastically filled any empty spaces between the lettuce shreds, so that when it came time to eat the sub, the oil had completely soaked through the bread and flowed freely out the ends.
Next time, I’ll ask for the onion sauce on the side as a chaser.
Finally, to add insult to injury — and I’m just nit-picking now — their napkins all display the motto “eat fresh”. Eat fresh what? Or do they mean us to eat freshly? I’ll have to ask their sandwich artist next time I feel like an oily sandwich.