Like many cubicle dwellers, when Friday afternoon rolls around, my mind begins to wander a little, and tasks like attaching the correct cover sheet to the TPS report become unreasonably tedious and just really, really… uh… adjective. I couldn’t concentrate long enough to come up with the right adjective. That’s exactly what I mean. By the end of the week, my brain, frankly, is toast.
Today the printer failed. Jobs were sent, nothing came out. And then it struck me. The problem is that between the computer and the printer, there’s a trans-universe quantum entanglement. You know, the kind that’s often caused by warp-generated inverse tachyon pulses. Yeah, that kind. Basing my reasoning on the long-established and hackneyed premise that there are an infinite number of parallel universes and something about a cat, I think it’s reasonable to assume that the print jobs are actually proceeding through an interdimensional bridge to a nearly identical alternate universe where a nearly identical printer is receiving them. So right now, the other-universe analogs of my co-workers and I are gathered around the printer trying to figure out where all those pages are being printed from. I think my reasoning is sound, but a quick call to Dr. Hawking should verify my hypothesis.
I realize that diagnosing the printer problem in this way doesn’t provide an actual solution, but it may solve other problems, such as those caused by Friday-related lethargy. Let me explain. If there are an infinite number of universe representing all probabilities, then it’s reasonable to assume that in a similar parallel universe, I have completed all of today’s work. All I need is for one of those universes to send it to me, the way I sent my print jobs to the other universe.
Naturally, I don’t have the technology available to send a request or to retrieve things from other universes, but if it is possible, it’s reasonable to believe that there is at least one universe where I do possess the technology. And knowing myself, I know that if I ever had that technology, I would freely share it with my other-universe analogues. I just have to wait for an alternate-universe me to transmit the details.
But Cubey, you say, if there are an infinite number of universes and if inter-universe communication is possible, wouldn’t we be barraged by an infinite number of communication requests from other universes? No, and for an obvious reason: Of all probabilities, there must be a chance of there existing at least one universe that has not been contacted yet. And that’s us.
So now that it’s mid-afternoon on a Friday, all I have to do is wait for another universe to send me instructions. Even just the completed TPS report would be nice.
Hang on… just received an email. And it’s from myself! Hmm. Apparently, in that universe, my middle name is “Awesome”. I always felt it should be.
Crap. He sent me the TPS report alright. But it’s got the wrong cover sheet.