Posted on

Next step in blogger wares

In my meanderings through the blogosphere, I have noticed that a certain number of bloggers offer Cafe Press products: hats, mugs, t-shirts, frisbees, clocks, and many other white objects with logos on them. But these are all pretty ordinary products. I mean, most people already have too many souvenir t-shirts. And who really needs yet another mouse pad?

That’s why I plan to offer Cubey-branded pets. Visitors will be able to order their very own Campbell’s dwarf hamster with my domain name tattooed on its back. Kittens will have the logo shaved into their fur. And if you buy the Goldfish Special, you get fourteen goldfish: each one carries a different letter in waterproof ink to spell out “CUBICLE DWELLER”.

Maybe I’ll have to rethink that last one. They would probably swim in the wrong order and spell unfortunate things.

The Cubicle Dweller souvenir goldfish

Posted on

Blogger spell-check

Can someone please tell me why Blogger has a new spell-checker that:

  • only supports US spellings, and not Canadian or UK spellings
  • doesn’t recognize “beep” or “snooze”
  • doesn’t recognize “inkblot”, but does recognize “Rorschach”
  • suggests “blocker” in place of Blogger
  • suggests “bloc” in place of “blog” (I’m sure the BQ will appreciate that)
  • suggests “lebensraum” in place of “livingroom”

I paid for Blogger Pro in part to get the spell-checker, but this thing is useless. And Blogs are written in many places other than the US.

Give us a useful spell-checker, Blogger.

Posted on

y6h76rtf7708jhlk.j;lkjdfser

As I contemplated the wisdom expressed by Adrian Bedford’s poignant “y6h76rtf7708jhlk.j;lkjdfser“, something occurred to me that was somewhat unsettling. In his blog, he wrote: “I knuckled down with a fresh coffee and banged my head against the keyboard.”

Looking at a standard keyboard, the pattern of keys struck by his head looks like this:

Such a pattern could only exist if his forehead had an unusually lumpy appearance. The string of characters could only have been struck by strange protrusions, of which one sticks out beside his right eye and one over his right temple. The locations of such protrusions can be noted by superimposing the key pattern on a diagram of a human face.

My conclusion is that Mr Bedford’s skill as a sci-fi writer comes not from his imagination, but from a deep familiarity with the realities of space travel! He is, in fact, a space-traveller from a distant galaxy!

What led him to settle on Earth? Is “y6h76rtf7708jhlk.j;lkjdfser” actually a naughty limmerick written in an alien language? Am I losing touch with reality?

Or maybe he hit a few keys with his nose. I can’t decide.

Posted on

Now where did I put that thing?

You know miniaturization has reached a whole new level when it’s possible to accidentally swallow* an entire library of photos, videos, and music.

Sony 1GB Memory Stick

Sony offers a 1 gigabyte (gigabyte!) memory card.

Does anyone remember using 128KB diskettes? I do.

[ * The author of this blog does not recommend taking this product internally. This was only an example intended to demonstrate the compact nature of the Sony Memory Stick. Contact a physician immediately if swallowed. Be prepared for derisive laughter at your expense.]

Posted on

New Windows for Cubey

What does a cubicle-dweller do on his spontaneous vacation? Re-install Windows while wearing a silly hat, of course.

Who says I don’t know how to have a good time?