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Look at the camera and say argh

Just when people started to think that Canadians might be cool, Ottawa implemented a new policy that prohibits smiles and other expressions in passport photos. A photo with any expression will be rejected by the passport office.

“The International Civil Aviation Organization, ICAO, has released a recommendation regarding a new specification for photos in passports,” explained Suzanne Meunier, spokeswoman for the Canadian Passport Office. “What they say is that the facial expression should be neutral … no smiling, no laughing, no frowning — no expressions, basically.” * 

This will make it much easier for customs officers to identify someone from a photo. People will look as grumpy in the photo as they do in the customs lineup.

Link: Canada.com: Don’t dare smile on your passport photo

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Jailtime for work of fiction

When Brian Robertson was 18, he wrote a story–a fictional account of an armed invasion of his school. He was charged with a felony and could spend up to ten years in jail, if convicted.

After searching Robertson’s car and his parents’ home, authorities found no weapons, traces of explosive material or any other evidence that the teen was planning to attack his school.

But authorities said the story Robertson wrote was sufficient to charge him under an Oklahoma state statute, which was passed in the wake of school shootings across the country in the last few years. * 

Well, maybe it’s for the best. We certainly don’t want children to waste their time writing fiction anyway. All kids who write “dark” fiction should be rounded up and charged with sedition. It would solve the problem of over-crowding in schools. This is a step in the right direction, in my opinion.

Link: Wired.com: “Write a Story, Go to Jail”

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Peeing into the future

Japan’s largest maker of toilets, Toto, combines the porcelain throne with computer intelligence for an “every-four-hour fiesta for your naughty bits”:

So there I am, sitting on this sleek-looking loo, idly punching the buttons on this little panel next to the toilet, and all of a sudden my bum is right smack in the middle of the perfect storm. *

If computer-controlled toilets become popular here in North America, will we have to worry when our toilet crashes? Will we have to back it up daily?

Link: Wired.com: Luxury Loo: The Seat Also Rises

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Arnold to run for governor of California

It’s the toughest decision he’s made, Schwarzenegger says, since he had a bikini wax in 1978. Yes, that’s exactly the kind of experience they need to govern California.

I suppose in all fairness, I should mention his other qualifications: he can ride a Harley, kneecap police officers with a shotgun, and remove his own eyeball with pocket knife.

His opponents should note that they can only stop him by crushing him in an industrial press or by bathing him in acid.

Or was that just a role he played?

Anyway, it’s good to see Arnold so clearly taking a much-needed break from promoting his latest movie.

Link: CBC News: Schwarzenegger will run for governor of California