Virtual vehicles for the metaverse
Posts about this blog itself.
I deliberated. I pondered. I weighed the pros and cons. I flipped a coin. I consulted the magic 8-ball. I consulted the plant in the corner of my room (that didn’t help, but I managed to turn a new leaf). I just can’t decide what to do with my website layout.
Should I keep the new white-and-grey layout? Should I try the black layout again? Should I return to the familiar old layout with the bandwidth-consuming graphics?
Help me out here. Please vote in the Cubicle Poll.
Alright. I’ve been puzzling over this question since I started blogging, and I still don’t have a definitive answer. After seening Eric’s creative definition of “blog”, I thought I’d take a crack at it myself.
The Bloggies define a weblog as “a page with dated entries that has a purpose (in whole or in part) of linking to other sites” and they exclude “personal journals”. That’s a start, alright, but it seems a little narrow for my tastes. By that definition, most blogs that I read aren’t actually “blogs”. Frankly, I wouldn’t read something that has the primary purpose of simply linking to other sites. I can’t imagine a more boring read.
To me, a blog can be any web-based form of creative expression in a format that uses dated entries. It can be commentary, it can be news, it can be a personal journal, and it can even be a cat-worship page with hundreds of high-resolution photos (although I wouldn’t read that either).
We can also define blogging by what it isn’t. As CNN is more than happy to report, blogs are — for the most part — an unreliable source of news. Feeling the pressure from bloggers, traditional media outlets love to trash bloggers on this basis. Even Wired.com isn’t beyond taking a shot, as illustrated by the article “Noted War Blogger Cops to Copying“. No, bloggers do not, in general, verify their sources or even credit their sources as thoroughly as they should, which leads me to believe that reporting the news is not for amateurs. Reporting opinion, on the other hand, is for every blogger and his highly photographed cat. Bloggers excel at expressing their reactions to current events and even mouldy, old non-current events.
What’s more of a mystery to me is why people become so easily addicted to reading and writing blogs. For example, why are you still reading this? Go outside and do something meaningful, for crying out loud! As for myself, I think I’ll lounge on some formed meat for a while.
Google has done it again. According to Eric J of Webraw.com, Google lists me first in a search for “sweaty manager“. Previously, I enjoyed a fleeting notoriety as the world’s leading authority regarding “Hockey Hero Sandwich” and “cubicle”, and I attempted to fulfill my responsibilities by answering any and all questions relating to Hockey Hero Sandwiches and cubicles.
This time, however, I think I’ll pass. The subject of sweaty managers simply doesn’t need any more attention. In fact, I’d rather not spend any more time thinking about it.
But I would like to ask Eric why he was searching for “sweaty manager”.
Taking a look at the calendar, I see that it’s the last day of March. That can mean only one thing. Well, actually, it means a great many things, but one thing that it means in particular is that it’s time to post… When Internet Searches Go Terribly Wrong.
This is my monthly compilation of my favourite misguided search requests. Let’s start with the penguin-related searches:
foot preference in penguins
I prefer the left foot, but I hear the right foot goes well with chardonnay.
what else is interesting about penguins
What isn’t interesting about penguins. I mean, just look at them.
bacon penguins
That sounds like a genetic experiment gone terribly wrong.
oops anal penguins
I think in that context, “oops” is definitely an understatement.
pictures of naked penguins
Try National Geographic.
naked royal penguin
I wish those paparazzi would leave the royals alone.
chimps on penguins wmv
That’s wrong in so many ways.
More wildlife questions:
spotted snow emu
Sorry, we nabbed the last one at Christmas.
What do muffled lemurs eat?
Not much until you remove the muffler.
Normal Campbell’s Dwarf Hamsters Pictures
Is it just me, or are canned soups getting really strange lately?
Pressing questions:
Top things not to do in a cubicle
I don’t think I want to discuss that publicly.
writing a blog is proof that I’m
Proof that you’re what?? Don’t leave me hanging!
naked canadian mounties
Thankfully, there are no naked police officers on this site.
chunkylover53
I still get hundreds of hits for this one. chunkylover53@aol.com. It’s Homer’s e-mail. What else do you need to know?
any damn notes on anil’s ghost
Sounds like term papers are due soon.
missing spoons and the connection with after life
It may have something to do with The Holy Spork of Antioch.
sexy professor simon fraser salmon
Sounds like there’s an embarrassing story behind this one.
And then the strangest searches of the month:
Messenger conversation with River Selkie:
Steve says: i’m good. trying to figure out what to post today. mind’s a blank.
river selkie says: hmm.
river selkie says: the natural enemies of penguins?
Steve says: hmm.
Steve says: polar bears? accountants? anti-penguin terrorists?
river selkie says: you are the expert, not me.
river selkie says: flying monkeys?
river selkie says: robot warriors
river selkie says: demented clowns?
Steve says: the dutch. they eat a lot of herring.
river selkie says: maybe! hehe
river selkie says: mean english teachers?
Steve says: unethical south american restauranteurs.
