life – Page 19 – Cubey Terra

December 19, 2005

Have a holly jolly Christmas

Every year, I dread the approach of December. December means the “holiday season”, schlocky Christmas music in every shop, and the enormous pressure of Christmas shopping. That’s why I put it off until the last minute. I plan my shopping list well in advance, however, so that in the very last week, I can hit the shops all at once in a surgical strike. Get in, extract the items, and get out. Bam! It’s over in an instant

I don’t hate Christmas, but I do hate being pushed into the holidays before I’m ready. I push back, and let everything wait. It really does take a feat of willpower to reach the point where I actually clear space on the table and start to wrap everyone’s gifts.

And then, a funny thing happens. As I fold and cut and tape, and write little “Merry Effing Christmas” labels, I catch myself whistling “Have a holly jolly Christmas”. But I stop myself, because I seriously hate that tune and wish that the person who wrote it would be buried in an ant hill up to their necks with liquid sugar poured liberally over their wobbly bits, while playing that tune at full volume on a loop. In a shopping mall.

Not long after that, I notice myself humming “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and “Silent Night”. Before I know it, I’m absolutely oozing with Christmas spirit, and what better time to pour a little Christmas brandy into a little mug or two. And after an hour or so of wrapping, humming, whistling, and pouring brandy down my throat, I strip down to my shorts, hang ornaments from my ears, and go caroling door-to-door at each pub I can find until a friendly police officer offers me a warm blanket and some handcuffs.

So I don’t know why I have so much trouble starting the Christmas season. After all, it ends well, and they usually let me out in time for Christmas dinner.

October 31, 2005

Having a friend for lunch

Ever wondered… What is it like to eat someone?

Well the wondering is over! HuFu imitates the texture and flavour of human flesh. Great for those vegetarian cannibals on your Christmas list!

Link: Eat Hufu

October 21, 2005

Never complain if he comes home late…

We all need a little guidance in our lives, to improve our self-confidence and make life more pleasant for those to whom we’re enslaved. This self-improvement gem from a 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly came to me via the Second Life forums: The Good Wife’s Guide.

Housekeeping Monthly: The Good Wife's Guide
(click to show the entire article)

I especially like this one: “Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.” Because that might help you smother the deep-seated resentment that you’ve been harbouring for years.

This is either seriously funny or seriously disturbing.

October 17, 2005

The king of all vending machines

Here’s a little item that I could probably use in my cubicle: The Patata Chef french fry vending machine.

The child in this picture is 25 years old. Sadly, her stunted growth was a result of a strict diet of potato products.

Let’s see… if I get one of those, I’ll probably need to buy one of these. And perhaps get one of these, too.

October 16, 2005

Making the unreal real

As I’ve mentioned before, I have an unhealthy addiction to Second Life — an online, shared, virtual world (not a game, say Second Life’s makers). It’s an environment where the users create their own world, then live and play in it.

Simon Goldin, an artist from Sweden, wasn’t content to leave virtual creations in Second Life. He’s selected a handful of items from various residents and fabricated them in real life for an exhibition, calling the collection Objects of Virtual Desire.

Penguin Balls in Second Life

Penguin Balls in real life

Our interest lies in exploring the concept of product design in a virtual world and what kind of interpersonal value objects carry in this context. Further questions are raised by transferring these objects to physical space and a ?first life? economy. What is immaterial value-creation and can it be materialised? What does it mean to use a virtual world as a site of production?

The issues raised are relevant in a wider context, as value-production in the ?post-fordist? era has become increasingly immaterial. Nike, for example, exploits the physical function of a shoe to create and market immaterial values, so pervasive that the shoe itself becomes almost virtual.

Objects of Virtual Desire exploits the augmented value of immaterial objects to create and market tangible products, thereby reversing the process and highlighting the materiality of the immaterial. (link)

Among the items he fabricated are jewelry, butterflies, a Jedi orb from Star Wars, and one of my creations, Penguin Balls. In Second Life, Penguin Balls are big, bouncy, penguin-laden spheres that you can drag around and throw at people. It’s great fun to fill a crater with them and fly through them with a jet pack.

Simon’s penguin balls are two-meter infatable balls with an inflatable penguin inside. As much as I’d love to have one of these, I think I’ll have to forgo the pleasure, since the price is currently set at 3,300 Euros (about 3,969 US dollars). Ah well… I don’t have room in my apartment for one anyway.