In an effort to increase the penguin-related content of this site:
Penguin.
That is all.
RTFM
I’ve worked in a computer lab. I’ve worked in tech support. Now I write software user manuals. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned about software users, it’s that nobody reads the freakin’ manual!
During my brief stint in tech support I had callers who would ask how to install the software. “Well sir,” I’d answer, “I think I can find that for you on page 1 of the manual.”
As a technical writer, this is a heavy burden to bear. Imagine knowing that the books you work on every day for years are probably left in the original packaging and put on a shelf in some forgotten server room. Sigh. Or worse, imagine knowing that users who upgrade to the latest version never even recieve the manual.
So for those users who I failed to reach with my user guides, here are the installation instructions from page 1:
1. At a command prompt, enter format c: and press Enter. The following prompt is displayed:
WARNING, ALL DATA ON NON-REMOVABLE DISK
DRIVE C: WILL BE LOST!
Proceed with Format (Y/N)?
2. Press… um… Okay, I’m feeling guilty. Don’t format your drive! Sigh. Press N.
Damn conscience. You never let me have any fun.
More strange spam subject lines
Some odd subject lines that caught my eye:
how come you was not there
(Maybe because your bad grammar is pissing me off?)
RE: you coming to dinner tomorrow night?.. –
(Um. No. But it’s a kind offer.)
FURRY NAKED BARNYARD FRIENDS!!!!
(Er… I don’t know what kind of farms you’ve been to, but most animals I’ve seen don’t wear clothes. Apart from cartoon characters, that is.)
Amazing Formula Adds 3 Inches in 10 Days!
(Gosh, I *would* like to be taller!)
Discover Everything You Ever Wanted To Know…..
(Like how to make you stop spamming me?)
Don’t leave your footprints on the Internet
(Sorry. I always forget to wipe my feet before logging on.)
Nervous laughs
The Ready or Not meeting last night was busy. It was a full night with lots of entertainment — monologues, readings, songs, guitar.
Yesterday’s caffeine buzz bought me a monologue, which was read beautifully (without rehearsal) by Leanne, the chief architect of Ready or Not. And the comments were very helpful. “Dark” was one. And “disturbing”. Unfortunately, it was supposed to be a comic monologue, which is kind of worrisome.
Actually, I had intented it to be a little dark. Recently something I read in another blog started me thinking about how television is desensitizing us to suffering in others. Are cold, detached newscasts and the casualness of violence on tv dramas dissolving people’s empathy? Does the commercial message to focus on self encourages ego-mania on a scale no one has seen before?
Or maybe it’s those video games and rock and roll music. Kids these days.
Maybe I’ll post the scene, once I touch it up a little.
Flay-o-Fish
Recently someone landed on my website by searching at Google.com for picture of a flayed fish. Why would someone want to see flayed fish? Is this some kind of new kink I haven’t heard about? Maybe they should check out www.sexyflayedfish.com.
Even stranger, I do have a picture of a flayed fish on my site.