Category: mmm… food

I notice that the coffee vending machine now has a flavour button for “Hawaiian Islands”. This stuff is terrible — it doesn’t taste anything like ham or pineapple.

It has been suggested that I have an unusual preoccupation with McDonald’s. I have, after all, written several posts relating to McDonald’s and its foodlike products, so I think it’s time that I explained myself.

I have a terrible, terrible addiction to fast food. If it’s greasy, I’ll give it a try. And then, of course, I’ll spend hours feeling bad (both morally and physically) about what I’ve done .

So naturally, I need to assuage my guilt by calling them evil. Hypocrisy can be so useful. Really, I feel better about myself already.

An experience at a local café yesterday started me thinking about something new for the blog. I like to visit eating and drinking establishments, as everyone does. Why not post reviews on my blog? Homer Simpson did it, so why can’t I?

Up until yesterday, I would have given Coco Rico on Robson Street a good review. They have beer and wine, serve a decent cappuccino, and they have nice munchies (or if you’re trying really hard to be all classy ‘n’ stuff: “tapas”). They have a sidewalk patio and interesting decor. Their service, too, was excellent. The server was always prompt and friendly. Note the past tense.

Yesterday, however, after waiting for quite a while, I actually had to go look for a server. Inside, there was a cluster of employees chatting about the big TV they’d set up for the game. I had to go up to them and get someone’s attention. Even after that, nobody offered us a menu. No one came to the table to take orders. We were generally ignored unless we ordered from the counter from a surly bartender.

OK, I know that some places want you to place orders at the counter, but in the past, Coco Rico has had table service. Now they apparently specialize in no service at all. Why does the place have both a bartender and a waitress working, when they don’t do a bloody thing for the customers?

And the name still sounds silly. Coco Rico. Sounds like something from a bad eighties tune.

And now I’m going to sit here in my cubicle being grumpy for the rest of the day.

At about eight o’clock, it occurred to me that I needed some tuna sashimi. And then it occurred to me that a nice lager matches well to tuna sashimi, or if you’re a frequent patron of The Clubhouse, you’ll want a “lagar”. It’s been spelled like that on every menu since the place opened in 1998.

Anyway, I can always count on Lola to help me out with the tuna sashimi and lager. If anyone needs me, I’ll be at The Clubhouse knocking back some raw fish and beer.

Addendum: Another thing I should mention about The Clubhouse is their marinated tuna sashimi. This stuff is brilliant. The pieces are marinated in a creamy sesame sauce that has just a touch of spicyness. It’s served in a small dish with two sprigs of asperagus, mayonnaise, and tobiko (roe).

Wow, I could just live on that stuff.

Someone on the ground floor phoned me to complain about the noise my stomach was making. This is indeed a serious situation, and as I mentioned earlier, I cleverly left my wallet and security card at home today.

I need not resort to squishy things under rocks, however. In my desk, under the spare packets of ketchup, I found a coupon for a FREE McDonald’s Big Mac.

Will they honour the coupon? Will I get my Big Mac both free and gratis? Will I walk away from Satan’s personal grease-factory with a full stomach or will I need to go hunting in the alley for some extremely fresh squab?

Cry havoc! and let slip the hamburgers of lunch!