I made the sad mistake of seeing Star Trek: Nemesis yesterday afternoon. I really don’t know why I did it — I knew quite well that it would be a huge disappointment. I suppose it’s probably force of habit. I’ve seen every Star Trek movie in a theatre, even Star Trek V, in which Kirk defeats a god in a battle of logic. When a friend and I saw STV, it was so completely unpopular that the normally busy theatre was virtually empty. We felt like Siskel and Ebert, getting a private screening. Needless to say, we gave it two thumbs down.
When they moved the Star Trek movie “franchise” (bloody money-grubbing Hollywood producers) to the TNG cast, I tolerated Star Trek: Generations because it was a novelty, and because we got to see 1.) the complete destruction of the Enterprise (again), and 2.) a bridge landing on Captain Kirk (“It was… fun. Oh my—”). I even enjoyed several scenes in the Borg movie. And for my loyalty, they punished me with Insurrection, whose title is fuel for all kinds of naughty jokes.
As an aside, couldn’t they find the budget for a set that’s at least somewhat believable? The rustic little town looked like cardboard and a lot of freshly laid turf.
Anyway, yesterday I gave in and saw Nemesis. I don’t want to spoil the movie for anyone (it probably spoils itself, so it won’t matter), but it looks to me like they based the movie on a minor plot point from Austin Powers. Picard has his own evil mini-me. I’m afraid I just couldn’t get beyond that. And then they filled the movie with so many stupid inconsistencies with the Star Trek series and events that entirely ignore the laws of physics that it just didn’t hold together at all.
So that’s it. I’ve had it with this Star Trek thing. I renounce my trekoholism, and will now lead a healthy, normal life.
Today’s