“Warn them, do it again, and then destroy their machine! There’s no excuse for anyone violating our copyright laws.”
– US Senator (and “songwriter”) Orrin Hatch
Link: MSNBC
BBC claims Nessie does not exist
In another colossal blunder, BBC claims that the Loch Ness monster or “Nessie” does not exist. An obviously flawed, so-called “scientific” search using sonar beams failed to reveal the evidence that they felt would prove the monster’s existence.
I believe that the BBC is grasping at straws when they try to explain away the existence of a monster as hallucinations, optical illusions, or hoaxes. This new “evidence” only demonstrates that when you set out to prove that something doesn’t exist, you will always succeed. The absence of sonar evidence only proves that Nessie is elusive, which we all knew anyway. Photographs and first-hand witnesses provide enough proof that would stand up even in a US military court of law.
I’m a skeptic myself. I will not believe reports that Nessie doesn’t exist until I see proof. Do you still doubt the existence of aquatic monsters? Maybe you should look at my photographs of the Sea Monster of Howe Sound. I call him Howie.
Where would we be if we doubted everything based on a lack of evidence? These skeptics are the same ones who set out to prove the non-existence of God. But I have photographic evidence of His existence too. He lives under the front steps of the abandoned house across the street, and I’ve seen Him foraging in the alley from time to time. Hold on. No, that’s a raccoon. I’m sorry. I get confused sometimes.
Bloody penguins
People ask me why I’m obsessed with penguins. Actually, their question is more like, “What is your f—ing problem, you freak?”
In truth, I’m no more obsessed with penguins than anyone else. It all started back in high school…
[Insert wobbly flashback transition.]
Back in junior high school, I wrote an article for an English class assignment about the endangered “partying penguins” in Antarctica. Apparently they drank lots of Kokanee beer and listened to Dire Straits and Pink Floyd (it was the eighties). The article was accompanied by a cartoon: a penguin wearing a lampshade on its head while playing air guitar with a lamp.
People seemed to like it, so I drew a few more. In response, someone gave me a toy penguin. And seeing that I had a toy penguin, someone else thought I had a “thing” about penguins and gave me another penguin-related object.
When people come to my home, they saw penguins, assumed that was obsessed with them, and bought me more. In the following years, I was inundated with them. People meant well, but it drove me up the wall.
Eventually something snapped. When I think of wild animals, the first thing that pops into my head is a flightless bird from the southern hemisphere. They’ve invaded every corner of my life. And I don’t even like the bloody things. It’s really quite tragic.
It could have been any animal. What if I had written an article about the partying platipi? Or the dancing doormice? The rowdy rhinos? The wanton wildebeests? Of all the alliterative wildlife available to me, why did I choose penguins? My life could have been quite different today.
Bloody penguins.
Just call me Slartibartfast
I spent several hours today writing the backstory and detail for something that I hope will morph itself into a novel. 3,238 words describing the geography, history, religion, and people of another planet. And I’m only just starting.
It’s not easy creating a world. In fact, it seems to me that this is far more difficult than any user manual that I’ve ever written. I estimate that I’ll finish by… oh… the middle of this century. I’ll keep you posted.
Seven snapshots of English Bay
I can’t think of anything to blog about, so here are some snapshots that I took at English Bay yesterday evening.
