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Look at the camera and say argh

Just when people started to think that Canadians might be cool, Ottawa implemented a new policy that prohibits smiles and other expressions in passport photos. A photo with any expression will be rejected by the passport office.

“The International Civil Aviation Organization, ICAO, has released a recommendation regarding a new specification for photos in passports,” explained Suzanne Meunier, spokeswoman for the Canadian Passport Office. “What they say is that the facial expression should be neutral … no smiling, no laughing, no frowning — no expressions, basically.” * 

This will make it much easier for customs officers to identify someone from a photo. People will look as grumpy in the photo as they do in the customs lineup.

Link: Canada.com: Don’t dare smile on your passport photo

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Cubicle rule #87

Regardless of how little sleep you’ve had, don’t ask your co-workers what year it is. They’ll just give you a strange look and back away a step.

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Mouse bread

Warning: don’t read this if you have a weak stomach.

Here’s a story that makes me want to stop eating completely. The Canadian Food Inspection Agency reports on sometimes-bizarre health violations.

– Nature’s Oven Foods Ltd., a Kelowna bakery, was fined $10,000 after pleading guilty on June 12, 2002, to preparing food for sale under unsanitary conditions. An investigation of a consumer complaint of a rodent embryo inside the wrapper of a loaf of bread found rodent droppings and insects in the area where baked goods were being prepared.

– Lilydale Co-operative Ltd. was fined $2,500 on May 28, 2002, in Abbotsford for handling 284 turkeys at the slaughterhouse in a way that caused them avoidable distress and pain — immersing them into a scalding tank while conscious. * 

These are only some of the violations that have been caught. How many elude the inspection process?

(shudder)

Link: Canada.com: Gruesome findings in food probes

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Lembas and ale

If anyone is watching The Two Towers on video tonight, you may consider replacing the popcorn with lembas–or “waybread”.

3 eggs

1 cup honey (preferably wild honey)

1 tablespoon grated orange peel or three kumquats or one large finger of a hand of Buddha.

2 teaspoons orange flower water (optional)

3 oz blanched almonds

1/4 cup melted butter

2-1/4 cups semolina flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

Place eggs, honey, orange peel or other fruit, orange flower water, and almonds in blender. Blend on high for 3 minutes. Add 1 cup of the flour. Blend for 1 minute. Scrape into a bowl and add remaining flour and salt. Whisk or stir until well blended. Bake lembas on a pizzelle or krumkake iron 15 seconds each or until lightly brown. You may substitute a waffle iron but add a teaspoon of baking powder. The texture will not be quite accurate in a waffle iron. * 

Alternatively, you could simply munch on fishessss.