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A fine example of high-quality book-binding

Raised by PenguinsWell it’s here. After many days eyeing my mailbox eagerly, the first four copies of Raised by Penguins arrived today. I carefully brought in the box and opened it up to find the four shiny books inside. They were indeed rectangular, as Café Press had promised. And also as Café Press had promised, they each contained 352 pages. I chortled merrily as I flipped through said pages…

… until I noticed a strange feeling of déja vu. Hadn’t I seen that page before? Why yes, that was page 60. What was it doing in the middle of the book? As I kept flipping, I encountered the same 80 pages four times over.

I checked the next book. Surely the first was just a fluke and the others would be fine. But alas, this one contained pages 81 to 168, repeated four times. The other two copies were similar, but contained a different page range in quadruplicate.

How could they do this? Did their printers not even look at what they were binding? Did it not seem odd that the first page of each copy of the same book was different and each one started on a different page number? *shakes fist in the direction of Hayward, California*

Well after a little chat with the friendly Café Press representative, they’ve agreed to resend four copies. If I promised to give you a copy, I’m sorry but it will be delayed another week or so, unless you want to read it in 80-page installments.

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Vote for your favourite lizard

Federal election? Did someone call a federal election? It doesn’t feel like an election. After all — and I don’t think I’m alone when I say this — I have no idea who the local candidates are. I don’t know their names or what they stand for, beyond grasping for more power.

Sure, I’ve seen the party leaders in the news. Who is there? Let’s see… For the so-called “Liberals”, there’s Paul Martin. He’s the prime minister who was appointed after the last guy retired. For the NDP, there’s um… is his name Jack? Yeah I never heard of him either. Heading the newly transmogrified Conservatives, it’s… well it was Joe Clark wasn’t it? Now it’s some other guy? I don’t know. Stephen? Good ol’ right-wing, Steve. Yeah, we needed another right-wing, pro-Bush, pro-business candidate to choose from.

Paul, Jack, and Steve. Is this the election of the generic male names?

As for the local candidates in my riding of Vancouver East, it’s a greater mystery. There are no signs out on the lawns (that I’ve seen), and no news coverage. It’s normally an NDP riding in a sea of Liberal ridings, which gives you an idea of the importance of the area in a federal election. We’re the disposable and neglected riding.

I’ve only lived in East Vancouver since 1996, on and off, but still I don’t know who our local MP is or who the candidates are. I guess they’re not big on campaigns.

In the end, it’s not important. The Liberals will probably win again, or if they don’t, another party will transform themselves into carbon-copies of them and continue the rampage through the public coffers.

That’s not cynical, is it?

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Wishy-washy

Right, well the first thing you’ll notice is that my website looks just a little bit different. That is, everything is missing. If there’s a good reason for it, I don’t know what it is. Lately, I feel like Bob and/or Doug in search of a topic (eh). Normally you just can’t shut me up, but now I really don’t have much on my mind, I suppose.

So I thought I’d stop blogging. Then I changed my mind. Then I stopped again. Then I tried a minimalist approach and removed everything. Now I don’t know what I’m doing with this thing.

Until I decide what to do next with this blog, please enjoy the lack of features on this page. I’d suggest visiting the archives or links, but I seem to have misplaced those.

Edit: the entire blog is now published with a prefab Blogger template. The links to other blogs are still missing. I’ll re-add those later.

Edit: More wishy-washiness. I’ve restored the old template. Now… someone tell me what to write about.

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“Raised by Penguins”

Raised by PenguinsAt last, it’s here. The long unawaited-for book that critics have hailed as “rectangular” and even “a book”. Yes, now you too can have your own copy of Raised by Penguins, the compilation of selected entries from this website.

Why would anyone pay good money for words they can get for free, you might ask? I have an answer for that, which was supplied by my friend, Christine: It’s for the toilet.

That is, unless you have a notebook computer with wireless networking, you can’t take this website with you when you… uh… do your business. The book, on the other hand, is entirely portable and doesn’t require any special hardware for you to read it — except maybe glasses. Also, each entry takes only a minute or two to read — timed perfectly to whatever you happen to be doing. So that’s one good reason why you want Raised by Penguins. Christine has a very sensible head on her shoulders… and probably has an entire library in her bathroom.

I should add that it’s also good with coffee breaks, bus stops, sushi stands, park benches, elevator rides, and salad bars. I don’t recommend it for use with fast food because you’ll get greasy fingerprints on the pages.

The real reason for printing this book is this: I don’t trust the web. Formats change, browsers change, and we can never be certain that the format we write in now will be readable in a few years. I’ve posted many thousands of words to this blog, and I’d like to keep some of them.

Paper, on the other hand, is never obsolete. So I’ve decided to go the route of so-called “vanity publishing”, which means that I bodged together the entries into a PDF, slapped a cover on it, called it a book, and sent it to Café Press, who can print copies on demand. I don’t expect to sell (m)any, but should you decide to order a copy of Raised by Penguins, then thank you, and I hope that you enjoy it and whatever activity you’re doing when you read it.

View some sample pages from Raised by Penguins: Raised_by_Penguins_sample_pages.pdf (PDF, 3.35MB)