Canada, a land frozen for ten months of the year and infested with blackflies for the other two, is very fond of its Christmas tradition. In the days leading up to Christmas, all Canadian villages are bustling with preparations for the big day. This year, I’d like to share with you the twelve days leading up to our Canadian Christmas.
12 days until Canadian Christmas
Today began at the crack of dawn as my brothers and I prepared the dog sleds for the hunt. Normally, we use six to ten dogs per sled, depending on the size of the animals we hunt. Today, we supplemented the dog team with a handful of lemurs, for our quarry is the spotted snow emu, which can grow to at least 4 metres in height and weigh about 300 kilograms. Its wingspan dwarfs a small airplane. The snow emu is a dangerous predator while in flight, and emus tend to flock together in squadrons of three or four. For safety, we hunt them at night when they’re sleeping in their burrows.
Normally the task of leading the hunt falls to the eldest son, but since my brother, Bob, moved to the village of Winterpeg, which is near the arctic circle, the task has fallen to the second eldest, Doug. My younger brother, also named Doug, has taken part in the hunt ever since he was old enough to complete the rites of ascension.
Meanwhile, at the family home in Steveston, my parents and the other villagers are building the communal feasting igloo, which is much larger than a normal igloo. When complete it will accommodate all 34 of the villagers, the fire pit, and a stage where Anne Murray will sing Snowbirds and selections from Anne Murray’s Classic Christmas. We used to have Mr. Shatner host the evening, but his rendition of I Am Canadian began to wear on us after his fourth encore. We politely suggested that he remain in California this year and enjoy a little sun on behalf of all his fellow Canucks.
Céline, on the other hand, is always welcome to our village at Christmas — her vocal talent can frighten off even the most vicious of polar bears, thus keeping Christmas safe for all.
Having loaded the sleds with supplies, Doug, Doug, and I donned our parkas and snowshoes and set out into the snowy wastes, in search of the burrows of the spotted snow emu.