Since my TV returned to me, I’ve been thinking about how much the box affects my diet. I’m a snacking kind of guy. I can’t watch TV without sneaking over to the cupboard, and while I’m sneakily searching for something to fill that little second supper corner, I wonder why I’m sneaking at all when I don’t have a roommate. Well the tree in the corner often gives me a bit of a guilt-trip when I eat too many Miss Vickie’s potato chips, but I can never disguise the crinkle of plastic followed by that distinctive potato chip munch-munch-munch-gulp.
The potato chips are an easy choice when I have them, but more often than not, I sneakily arrive at the cupboard to find nothing that one would define as a classic snack food. That’s when one must become a creative snacker.
What should I snack on tonight? Peanut butter and celery? Cream cheese and celery? Cheese melts? Leftover penguin? Miso soup? Instant oatmeal? A boiled potato? Um… I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel here. And I’ve had several bad experiences with those barrel-scrapings. The tree in the corner insists that I should avoid ingesting anything that I have to scrape off another object, but it takes several attempts for me to learn from my mistakes.
Aha. Pickles and cheese. There’s something magical about the combination of cheese and pickles. In particular, real mozzarella and kosher dills. Mmmmmmmmm. And a great thing about the pickles and cheese snack is that, unlike Miss Vickie’s, the crunching won’t drown out the dialogue on TV.
What’s that? Oh.
The tree in the corner says I should get a life. F— off, tree.