My investigation into the missing utensils began with the obvious.
From: Stephen Cavers, Cubicle Investigations
To: Fred O’Donnell, Jr. Software Developer
Subject: Just a couple of questions
Hello Fred. The word around the department is that you’re from Newfoundland. Is this true?
And is it also true that while you lived in Newfoundland, you played in a band? Not only that, but you played the spoons, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?!
Please get back to me whenever you can.
-Stephen
Only minutes later, Mr. O’Donnell wrote back.
From: Fred O’Donnell, Jr. Software Developer
To: Stephen Cavers, Cubicle Investigations
Subject: Re: Just a couple of questions
I’m from Saskatoon, you moron.
Well, that seemed pretty conclusive. He couldn’t have done it — Saskatoonians have no sense of rhythm.
My search would have to press on in new directions.