Upgrading my CDS

All I can think about is my CDS. No, that’s not “carpal dunnel syndrome”. For crying out loud, that doesn’t even make sense.

I’m concerned about the state of my Caffeine Delivery System. For several months the vending machine coffee has been my standard CDS. The flavour is sub-standard, as I’ve mentioned frequently, but it gets the job done. Knock back a couple of those bitter, watery concoctions, and I’m good for at least an hour or so.

Then I considered upgrading my CDS from coffee to cola. Cola has several advantages, the least of which is that you get a sugar kick in addition to the caffeine buzz. I could, I conjectured, add sugar to my coffee, but as a coffee purist, that violates my principles. Even the vending machine swill deserves drinking straight.

So there’s cola, but what kind? As a geek, my first inclination is towards Jolt, but that’s hard to come by these days. That leaves the front-runners: Coke and Pepsi.

Yesterday I dropped by the grocery store, and there on the shelf, looking all exotic and purty-lookin’ was vanilla Coke. And next thing I knew, I was struttin’ home with a six pack of the stuff. I knew it must be good — Simon Cowell said so, right?

Wrong. It’s vile. It’s worse than drinking soda water with pancake syrup stirred into it. Not that I’ve tried it. Ahem.

Anyway, now I have a five-pack of vanilla Coke and coffee-swill to choose between as my CDS. Of course, if I could get up off my butt and walk over to the coffee shop on the corner, I wouldn’t have a problem, would I?

Wow. All this talk of caffeine makes me have t—