Bad Poetry of Second Life, Part 2

As I mentioned in my previous post, in late 2003 and early 2004, I hosted a series of poetry contests in Second Life. The challenge: to write the absolute worst poem possible in fifteen minutes, while incorporating eight randomly-chosen words. The virtual poets rose to the challenge, and the results would nauseate even a Vogon.

Seven years later, I am revisiting selections of vile verse and posting them here for your reading discomfort. You may recognize some names.

This selection of stinky stanza are dredged up from the evening of October 28, 2003. The random words of the day: boat, strangulate, hearse, pasty, hat, carp, and recline.

Kenzington Fairlight

i dragged a fat carp out behind the boat house,
he told me about how he swam with my spouse,
i didn’t like that, so on his face i did trounce,
now i recline in by big pimpin house,
where i stick it to the man, every ounce,

the very next week, in a hearse i did ride,
i call it a hearse cause it had dead folks inside,
pasty peeps that i strangulated for acting all snide,
told me they tagged my spouse from behind,
so under a huge hat, you best better hide,
if i find you with my spouse, his name is clyde.

Trinity Serpentine

In my boat
I have a coat
but not a hat
too cool for that
I play the harp
I smell a carp
Never inline
Always recline
I strangulate
the magistrate
I suck at verse
please call a hearse
make it hasty
I’m turning pasty

Charlie Bombay

Little Johnny hadn’t a clue
so many delicious toys:
what to do?

Transportation in swarms
a boat, train, or hearse:
which to choose?

Costumes he could fancy
heels, hats, and pasties:
or is that just too fruity?

Deciding to stick to his frustration
Johnny took it out on the recliner
by strangulation.

There were more poets that night, but sadly their works were lost in an accident involving a carp.